Those balls look pretty dangerous.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize