You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
