I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
