It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
