Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize