i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
