my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
