i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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