i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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