I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
