At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
