she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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