I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
