Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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