I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
