i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
