Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
