I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
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