im drinking this country out of the recession.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Houston, we have a blender
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
