You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
