I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
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Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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