She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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