I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
