I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Randomize
