If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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