Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
