she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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