Non-Jews are for practice
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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