I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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