help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
