drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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