there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Girls should come with a carfax report
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.