Texts From Last Night

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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.

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  (215): I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons. (267): I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner. http://tfl.nu/vxtv
  Replies (12) Good night (1266) Bad night (4758)
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  (623): View more from Arizona

  Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.

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  (623): Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight. http://tfl.nu/vksk
  Replies (42) Good night (1017) Bad night (6370)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.

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  (512): I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah. http://tfl.nu/atyf
  Replies (22) Good night (4739) Bad night (920)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine

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  (512): Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine http://tfl.nu/sllr
  Replies (7) Good night (2315) Bad night (1065)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing

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  (303): So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing http://tfl.nu/363h
  Replies (22) Good night (1506) Bad night (4806)
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  (716): View more from New York

  Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?

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  (716): Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate? http://tfl.nu/244l
  Replies (18) Good night (2973) Bad night (1218)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here

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  (917): Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here http://tfl.nu/lif5
  Replies (3) Good night (3148) Bad night (708)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.

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  (812): Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair. http://tfl.nu/ggur
  Replies (5) Good night (1663) Bad night (687)
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  (906): View more from Michigan

  Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.

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  (906): Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too. http://tfl.nu/qk1z
  Replies (10) Good night (1356) Bad night (818)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.

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  (205): I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment. http://tfl.nu/97ug
  Replies (4) Good night (1918) Bad night (613)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.

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  (803): the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this. http://tfl.nu/qdyt
  Replies (0) Good night (652) Bad night (418)
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  (805): View more from California

  I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication

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  (805): I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication http://tfl.nu/lh77
  Replies (1) Good night (449) Bad night (326)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.

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  (502): I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did. http://tfl.nu/zibd
  Replies (4) Good night (624) Bad night (310)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  Update: It didn't work

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  (218): I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away. (218): Update: It didn't work http://tfl.nu/i66w
  Replies (1) Good night (392) Bad night (583)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.

  (810): View more from Michigan

  We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.

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  (248): I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed. (810): We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team. http://tfl.nu/dgq9
  Replies (0) Good night (606) Bad night (463)

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