I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.