If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.