Just fell off a train. Bad.
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
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She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
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We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.