Texts From Last Night

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  (310): View more from California

  i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.

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  (310): i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details. http://tfl.nu/0mu6
  Replies (4) Good night (741) Bad night (2213)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  I proposed and she said yes man.

  (1-425): View more from Washington

  You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?

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  (425): I proposed and she said yes man. (1-425): You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right? http://tfl.nu/wbvk
  Replies (25) Good night (5888) Bad night (940)
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  (623): View more from Arizona

  listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.

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  (623): listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville. (202): Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am. http://tfl.nu/fp1i
  Replies (19) Good night (5555) Bad night (1067)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.

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  (773): SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS. http://tfl.nu/8a2r
  Replies (7) Good night (2277) Bad night (1001)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.

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  (609): I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception. http://tfl.nu/z6mj
  Replies (13) Good night (1916) Bad night (1369)
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  (714): View more from California

  im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.

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  (714): im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats. http://tfl.nu/387j
  Replies (8) Good night (2434) Bad night (875)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone

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  (207): I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone http://tfl.nu/crvf
  Replies (2) Good night (1016) Bad night (1249)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.

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  (407): Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck. http://tfl.nu/ldxl
  Replies (14) Good night (529) Bad night (1872)
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.

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  (662): IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol. http://tfl.nu/ywt6
  Replies (1) Good night (1064) Bad night (615)
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  (650): View more from California

  No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.

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  (650): No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady. http://tfl.nu/wggf
  Replies (17) Good night (1124) Bad night (491)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after

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  (403): His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after http://tfl.nu/sq85
  Replies (5) Good night (317) Bad night (776)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach

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  (304): Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach http://tfl.nu/xbk1
  Replies (3) Good night (620) Bad night (284)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  How high are you exactly

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  (443): Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis (828): How high are you exactly http://tfl.nu/wb80
  Replies (2) Good night (716) Bad night (241)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life

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  (250): so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life http://tfl.nu/wis1
  Replies (6) Good night (354) Bad night (1137)
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  (938): View more from

  I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.

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  (938): I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace. http://tfl.nu/4pq2
  Replies (1) Good night (393) Bad night (341)

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