omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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