Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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