HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
