I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i already hear my dad disowning me
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
