I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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