Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
