remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
