the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
