So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
