I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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