im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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