girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
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Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
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Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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