he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
