It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
