My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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