My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Randomize
