i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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