so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize