Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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