Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
