My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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