Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
