gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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