Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize
