Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
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Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize