end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
