That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
