I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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