No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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