Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
