Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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