You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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