we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
